We are removing the dumb creative writing & trolling stunts involving my ex employer at Giant Tiger. It was a stupid Creative Expression to being upset over my concussion.
I know it is an anxious time and Covid19 is a tremendous threat. We need to do something. We need to have more people masking & Social Distancing. We need to make sure this message gets across. Well for now, consider this the job CBC News! For the Opposition which every Political Science Student understands is necessity it is time to talk about my opinions on what to do when you see someone not masking?
Imagine you are in a hair Salon, Mall, Gym or little boutique violating regulations around the Pandemic. What do you do? Well you are a good “person” who wants to prevent spread. So what do you do? LEAVE THEM THE F*** ALONE! LEAVE THE THE f**** ALONE! Do you want a god damn insurrection? Take your do good moralistic for the times BS and F**** OFF! Do you want people to have a valid common sense opposition to law & order? That is the cause of anarchy! LEAVE THEM ALONE! THEY ARE EVEN LEGALLY PROTECTED! ALSO IT DOESN’T MATTER! LEAVE THEM ALONE! PICK YOUR DAMN BATTLES ! This is the crap that creates a failed State.
In Kingston Ontario during a time I was having fairly regular Autism Seizures related to my concussion. I was being forced to mask by people. Then I caught a common cold and I was kicked out of a Homeless Shelter. After which I was told to wait 4 days for a Covid19 test. The first night I slept out on the street and someone at a local pizza place in Amherstview had to revive my dehydration from massive hysteria.
People, we need to learn to leave people with various disabilities ALONE! LEAVE THEM ALONE! Unless you want this virus TO BE THE HILL LAW & ORDER AS WELL AS SOCIETY ITSELF TO DIE ON! LEAVE PEOPLE WITHOUT MASKS THE F*** ALONE!
Reasons people might not be able to mask
- Breathing tubes
- Other disabilities
- 20 years of smoking
- 10 years of smoking
- 5 years of smoking
- Any reason they god damn say!
LEAVE THEM ALONE!
I can’t write my autobiography or Diagnose my own psychological problems. This is despite the self-proclaimed name of Dr. Ostrich. I can not hide a Mental illness under a poorly constructed God Complex. I can’t denied the fact that as I declare myself god after a concussion. That I have clearly gone insane.
I was born in the Greater Toronto area. I went to School in Belleville, then Brighton & then college in Belleville. Then I went to college in Kingston. Then I went to College in North York. All to be a web design and communications major with a Business Diploma. (Why I studied Communications & Business?) I didn’t know how to function. I am still working on that…
Why I wanted to work at Giant Tiger?
This actually started off with me becoming more interested in my classes in Supply Chain Management.
my ex boss Jennifer
Despite what I said after my last concussion I don’t think she is the root of all danger. You know Oscar from Corner Gas?
The guy always fixates on these pointless feuds like with the liquor store, or with a cow in the animated series. By fixating on my feud with Giant Tiger & my ex manager I am hoping to avoid confrontation with anyone else. Which is stupid… My ex was there and he always had his common sense.
Concussion signs in order
Hitting my head, not sleeping for most of 2 days, repeating a day. Then a blur of pointless arguments, meetings with social workers & fixing my relationship with Dad. The fact that I am overexerting myself and not actively trying to prevent that.
Also I joined an anti-mask movement on social media.
What I do well in relationships?
I am the type who can show up when you have no WiFi. Helps them move furniture and just talks. I like doing things for the people I date.
What I do bad in a relationship?
I have a way of making everyone I date feel used at some point. Actually the truth is I have used most of my exes to achieve something. I got tutored in web design by my first college sweet heart. My Second College sweet heart was nuts but made me interested in Psychotherapy. My last ex improved my math skills.
I don’t break up well…
Up until now writing about this included a lot of pointless alternating between blaming myself or blaming my most recent ex. You can dig a little deeper than my most recent ex. I could of been a better ex to my first transgender girlfriend. I could of been a better ex to my most recent ex boyfriend. I often instead play the resentful and still attached psycho.
My Bizarre comfort zones
- Public Libraries
- Educational institutions
In my biography how do I talk about hate websites that became cruel competitions? Or digging up old feuds in the arena of a concussion meltdown. Sibling complaints always come down to family entitlements, underlying resentments & an urge to control that other person that looks like you.
Questions I’ve been asked?
If your family is so bad why did they end up helping you? Well they probably didn’t deserve the critiques they got, Whether honest or faulty. Some of what I wrote may of been nothing more than a carried away thought. The beauty of my “Coronacussion” is head trauma + the eery sight of a Pandemic.
Are you a serious person or a comedian? When I have a concussion? I am a train wreck. Otherwise I am whatever the circumstances call for. You can’t perfectly tune Autism. The gifts of our kind have been greatly exaggerated.. At times anyways.
Are you high functioning? I wish there was a more appropriate way to integrate psychosis in to a functioning conversation. If you mean could I work in normal circumstances. I believe I could of. If you mean this to ask if I am cool to go without help? No I would still like help at times. I view it as I can function in a classroom but not a job with a day to day life yet. The simplest answer… “I am high functioning crazy.” At best one day it will turn itself in to a sustainable life patterns eventually.
Do you wield any real power? Besides this website. No not really… Will I go psychotic and think I wield power. I did I guess. It was stupid!
This is going to sound insane but I mentioned marriage to my recent ex many times after the Concussion. This is kind of bleak but it is coded in my mind out of a kind of fear. “I love you and I feel like I might die with you.”/ AKA till death do us part. This is worth knowing for if it ever happens again. When I wasn’t convincing myself I was invincible? I was convinced I was going to die after the June 7th – 8th concussion.
I have multiple codes for “I think I am going to die.” Sometimes I will just come out and say “I think I am going to die.” This is proof of an episode of hysteria. The Psychology student I knew at Queen’s University student told me to talk about more openly when he aided a prior concussion recovery. I do not and can not experience a concussion without psychosis.
I am actually sorry my ex experienced this delusion. It does have a rather grim separation element. Currently I am trying to let go separation equaling death. As this is an unfair burden to try and place on anyone.
J'ai une commotion cérébrale / I have a concussion / 脑震荡
Any time I think of 2020 for the rest of my life. I will think of the wild ride of a Giant Tiger workplace concussion and full on psychosis. A psychosis that hurt many people including an ex employer. ex boyfriend & family. A Psychosis drove me nearly to death. Here are some new truths for me after this traumatic brain injury:
When I started blogging? My Goal was to give you an incredibly unique voice to autism, autistic issues & autism human rights. I wanted to capture proof of the fact I had a loose grip on my sanity. Which I now have! I wanted to figure out myself. Which I now I have. The other goal was to write the blog to communicate to myself. How I am doing? Where is my head at? Am I suffering with depression, anxiety or suicidal ideation. In 2020 the answer was all of the above.
- I now allow for mental health interventions as needed – Up to & including moving me to Hotel Dieu & Safe Beds.
- I now warn people I can’t take impact to the head – There were moments with a head injury where I felt perfectly fine but I had gone completely whacko. This freaks me out. The reason I learned Cyber Security & posted this on the web was to potentially hold myself accountable later as needed. I intend to issue apologies as well omit posts.
- I need a job with dental coverage – I am just having teeth problems.
- I need to start setting expectations for dependent relationships – I am getting to the point where I need to think about a committed relationship as an autistic person. I don’t have a long life expectancy and I can’t fool around forever. I want someone to be there for me when my mental health begins to go forever.
- I’ve had experience with amnesia – Like forget where you live amnesia. There was a day in Kingston Ontario where I spent a significant amount of time lost because I forgot where I slept.
6. I have had hysterical anger, sadness & fear– She might not be to blame as much but I was angry at my old boss. Then I got angry at my family. then I got angry at my ex .Then I was sad my ex left me. This was insane. It was like I couldn’t actualize a single feeling at times. I was just lost in an overly emotionally stressed brain.
Even though it was at times embarrassing. I am glad I recorded my actions & mindset online. If you think I don’t work off of what I write you are insane! I go back and re-review. I have regrets and I have made mistakes. The reason I am glad to write an account of these actions publicly is so people can gauge where my head is at and bring something to the attention of a new relationship if needed.
I am sorry if I hurt you, made you feel alone or betrayed.
Ashton De Roy
If I have sent this to you and we are dating. It is time to talk about Autistic Attachment problems as this may be something you have to deal with.
I would not send this unless deep feelings have developed. If we are at a point where deep feelings have developed then it is essential I tell you this.
I did not grow up with Secure attachments with my Divorced parents or extended family. I grew up as a burden that could be sent to Grandma’s house when I got too problematic!
It is also true that in August 2020 I left my ex boyfriend’s house in a Cop car to go to Safe Beds in Kingston Ontario. That was from not handling an adult break up well…
As of the time I am writing this article I don’t feel up for a new relationship. I am 27, exhausted & I nearly died a few times in September in the following ways:
- Dehydration during break up hysteria after being kicked out of the Community Homeless shelter. This was by crying and walking a long way until I collapsed.
- Infection from dirty soiled clothing.
- Getting attacked by meth heads.
I have had a really complicated life that over complicates my already complicated Autistic psychology. A lot of the time I am by myself I get lost in my head or I contemplate my meaningless life in unhealthy ways. Conversations about working on myself are useless… All they have ever translated in to Autism Psychosis wise is masking symptoms that I should speak up about. You really need to take from this article that I struggle with my mental health and sudden separation could be a huge personal challenge for me. Still you are entitled to leave when you choose. You just don’t have any authority on how I behave post-separation. You really should just get far away like Kaylib Drury did.
Last incident of abnormal behavior #AutismAware: I had the shakes for most of today & yesterday. I am also having flashbacks to my time being Homeless.
Something I think about: Who can I work for now that I have seizures?
French coffee order: Un café 1 lait et 1 sucre
I’ve been by myself in an apartment in Belleville Ontario for a bit. This is my second month living alone.
I am not doing excellent but I am toying with an idea of a more isolated life moving forward. Like I am not issuing a ton of apologies to people for stuff I did during my concussion. It would be wrong to expect this! What if this is who I am?
- I am the type of person who fires back on an opponent’s criticisms. I do not take critique or advice from anyone. Ideally I would accept criticisms from those I live with more in the future. However, I will degrade anyone that degrades me.
2. I am the type of person can attribute some of their prior injuries to family. Maybe eventually I will get over it but some stuff I haven’t even had time to be angry about. In an effort to “Let It go!” I don’t know how I really feel about anything anymore. It seems like I have to let everything go and everyone else has free reign to be insane. Meanwhile I literally broke my head trying to do better for myself for my family.
3. I am the type of person who depended too much on a 2 year Casual relationship, that I was unaware had stopped progressing. It might be worth telling partners in the future. I didn’t have a lot of personal security growing up. Now I latch to whatever is comfortable with a death grip. It isn’t healthy but it happened…
I hope over time this blog will serve more as a check & balance. Less of a Dictatorship on a website.
I am capable of achieving & crashing. Inspiring and scaring.
I can dazzle some and terrify others.
This is life with an Autistic Psychotic Disorder.
Let’s start an honest conversation.
We are all just monkeys with an identity crisis.
I want to be apart of a community that helps each other shine. I want to be lifted up and lift others up as well. I want to help & be helped. That is the ultimate dream of any Community minded Democratic Socialist!
In this article I am taking a positive inventory of 3 people I benefit from having faith in.
Dad (Randy Deroy) – Naturally he goes in to this list. I don’t pay a steep cost for helping Dad. Actually mostly he has helped me so far but I have been trying to reconcile my finances and status to change that in the future. He also made multiple suggestions for me to join the army but we may have to forgive that because that was before my formal declaration of psychotic status.
Diana Skye – Diana did lead me to a more successful style of blogging. She also helped me moralize and rounded me out as a person. I think her and my relationship was more mutually beneficial than I gave it credit for once upon a time. There is always something about an empath that will balance out a narcissist. I (Ashton De Roy am a God Complex.) That is a Narcissistic Psychosis disorder.
Alana Skye – Due to Alana Skye’s help I can make a claim that my Homelessness was reckless endangerment. I needed a more reasonable supervision during my concussion and I was just not allowed to have that. I haven’t really helped her since Community College. As my functionality has been going down gradually since I took Advertising. This is due to a mix of employer abuse, unrealistic standards on independence & debt.
Listen there is no ideal world where I go to work, manage my finances and entire living situation with no help. There is no world where a public service fills in all of the gaps either. I have to have a support system at the end of the day. This is literally obvious to every other well adjusted learning disability. There is no iron independence in my Autism! Over the past few years I have looked at this over independence and over stress as something that would have to kill me or nearly kill me in order to prove my point. It has now nearly killed me!
Now can we start critically looking at Unfair employers like Jennifer Boutilier? Now can we stop holding Autism + ADHD to unrealistic standards for independence? Now can I be set up for success with aide? Rather than crushing failure with added stress.
After thought copied from Facebook:
One thing to remember about my #Autism + #Concussion issue in #June. I didn’t sleep for 2 days, kept nearly getting killed & had a Psychotic Episode after a Psychotic Episode. Let’s do #mentalhealthawareness on that s***! I was classified a #SuicideHazard at 13. Believe me I feel bad for my parents. I also feel bad for Kyle DeRoy. He met the Police officer the night it was becoming clear my #Autistic#ADHD Personality was mutating into mental illness.
This really isn’t funny to me anymore and I am through being tolerant and politically correct about this idiot. Why does anyone care so much as Ben Shapiro does about a man wearing a dress? He is a repressed Conservative gay man with a daddy fetish. Western Civilization doesn’t fall because men embrace femininity. That is absurd. Right now toxic masculinity in Western society is at genocidal levels. Give it a break!
About Ben Shapiro being gay? : Listen to how Ben Shapiro talks, listen to the gay panic & listen to the senseless points being made. He is a repressed gay man preaching toxic masculinity and that is all it comes down to.
Feminizing men is not the end of the world!
In regards to me. I have an aggressive personality disorder. I try to take Estrogen to balance it out! You don’t want me fully masculinized. It is a danger to people I love and society as a whole.
Ben Shapiro buddy. Someone like me has an aggressive personality disorder called Psychosis. Feminizing me so I am more in touch with my emotions is better for me, it is better for society & it is better for whoever I end up with. The Fascists thought making all men in to brutes was a good idea to. Except it wasn’t… Even in straight relationships women need men who can equally share in the emotional caretaker roles.
For god sakes! Feminine men, queers born males & Transwomen are essential
It is a genocidal level evil to the gay community to remove our feminine people. They are often are caretakers, our creatives & are stay at home spouses. Gender is a wide spectrum. Who cares about the feminization of men? If it brings down the sexual assaults, if it brings down the suicides & it creates mentally healthier people. I say we embrace feminized men. The Indigenous people had their dual spirited persons. You know what also? I dated a dual Spirit person. They were strong, beautiful and a little dangerous for me.