Still living in Social Isolation and starting to prefer it.

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Last incident of abnormal behavior #AutismAware: I had the shakes for most of today & yesterday. I am also having flashbacks to my time being Homeless.

Something I think about: Who can I work for now that I have seizures?

French coffee order: Un café 1 lait et 1 sucre

I’ve been by myself in an apartment in Belleville Ontario for a bit. This is my second month living alone.

I am not doing excellent but I am toying with an idea of a more isolated life moving forward. Like I am not issuing a ton of apologies to people for stuff I did during my concussion. It would be wrong to expect this! What if this is who I am?

  1. I am the type of person who fires back on an opponent’s criticisms. I do not take critique or advice from anyone. Ideally I would accept criticisms from those I live with more in the future. However, I will degrade anyone that degrades me.

2. I am the type of person can attribute some of their prior injuries to family. Maybe eventually I will get over it but some stuff I haven’t even had time to be angry about. In an effort to “Let It go!” I don’t know how I really feel about anything anymore. It seems like I have to let everything go and everyone else has free reign to be insane. Meanwhile I literally broke my head trying to do better for myself for my family.

3. I am the type of person who depended too much on a 2 year Casual relationship, that I was unaware had stopped progressing. It might be worth telling partners in the future. I didn’t have a lot of personal security growing up. Now I latch to whatever is comfortable with a death grip. It isn’t healthy but it happened…

New mission Statement

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I hope over time this blog will serve more as a check & balance. Less of a Dictatorship on a website.

I am capable of achieving & crashing. Inspiring and scaring.

I can dazzle some and terrify others.

This is life with an Autistic Psychotic Disorder.

Let’s start an honest conversation.

We are all just monkeys with an identity crisis.

3 people it pays to trust.

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I want to be apart of a community that helps each other shine. I want to be lifted up and lift others up as well. I want to help & be helped. That is the ultimate dream of any Community minded Democratic Socialist!

In this article I am taking a positive inventory of 3 people I benefit from having faith in.

Dad (Randy Deroy) – Naturally he goes in to this list. I don’t pay a steep cost for helping Dad. Actually mostly he has helped me so far but I have been trying to reconcile my finances and status to change that in the future. He also made multiple suggestions for me to join the army but we may have to forgive that because that was before my formal declaration of psychotic status.

Diana Skye – Diana did lead me to a more successful style of blogging. She also helped me moralize and rounded me out as a person. I think her and my relationship was more mutually beneficial than I gave it credit for once upon a time. There is always something about an empath that will balance out a narcissist. I (Ashton De Roy am a God Complex.) That is a Narcissistic Psychosis disorder.

Alana Skye – Due to Alana Skye’s help I can make a claim that my Homelessness was reckless endangerment. I needed a more reasonable supervision during my concussion and I was just not allowed to have that. I haven’t really helped her since Community College. As my functionality has been going down gradually since I took Advertising. This is due to a mix of employer abuse, unrealistic standards on independence & debt.

Listen there is no ideal world where I go to work, manage my finances and entire living situation with no help. There is no world where a public service fills in all of the gaps either. I have to have a support system at the end of the day. This is literally obvious to every other well adjusted learning disability. There is no iron independence in my Autism! Over the past few years I have looked at this over independence and over stress as something that would have to kill me or nearly kill me in order to prove my point. It has now nearly killed me!

Now can we start critically looking at Unfair employers like Jennifer Boutilier? Now can we stop holding Autism + ADHD to unrealistic standards for independence? Now can I be set up for success with aide? Rather than crushing failure with added stress.

After thought copied from Facebook:

One thing to remember about my #Autism + #Concussion issue in #June. I didn’t sleep for 2 days, kept nearly getting killed & had a Psychotic Episode after a Psychotic Episode. Let’s do #mentalhealthawareness on that s***! I was classified a #SuicideHazard at 13. Believe me I feel bad for my parents. I also feel bad for Kyle DeRoy. He met the Police officer the night it was becoming clear my #Autistic#ADHD Personality was mutating into mental illness.

Ben Shapiro is gay.

This really isn’t funny to me anymore and I am through being tolerant and politically correct about this idiot. Why does anyone care so much as Ben Shapiro does about a man wearing a dress? He is a repressed Conservative gay man with a daddy fetish. Western Civilization doesn’t fall because men embrace femininity. That is absurd. Right now toxic masculinity in Western society is at genocidal levels. Give it a break!

About Ben Shapiro being gay? : Listen to how Ben Shapiro talks, listen to the gay panic & listen to the senseless points being made. He is a repressed gay man preaching toxic masculinity and that is all it comes down to.

Feminizing men is not the end of the world!

In regards to me. I have an aggressive personality disorder. I try to take Estrogen to balance it out! You don’t want me fully masculinized. It is a danger to people I love and society as a whole.

Ben Shapiro buddy. Someone like me has an aggressive personality disorder called Psychosis. Feminizing me so I am more in touch with my emotions is better for me, it is better for society & it is better for whoever I end up with. The Fascists thought making all men in to brutes was a good idea to. Except it wasn’t… Even in straight relationships women need men who can equally share in the emotional caretaker roles.

For god sakes! Feminine men, queers born males & Transwomen are essential

It is a genocidal level evil to the gay community to remove our feminine people. They are often are caretakers, our creatives & are stay at home spouses. Gender is a wide spectrum. Who cares about the feminization of men? If it brings down the sexual assaults, if it brings down the suicides & it creates mentally healthier people. I say we embrace feminized men. The Indigenous people had their dual spirited persons. You know what also? I dated a dual Spirit person. They were strong, beautiful and a little dangerous for me.

Related content:

Ashton De Roy’s Dirty Little Secret.

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If I start playing the bad guy in any argument. It is an argument I am not taking seriously and I just want to be left alone. We entitle ourselves to too much of each other sometimes. We need to take 10 steps back and stop. My special skills is the ability to fail forward fast. I am not afraid to look so crazy that a dispute with me appears pointless. I am not afraid of breaking social norms or highlighting unflattering norms. This is an Autistic super power!

Even when Rachel Pasternak sent all the unflattering things I said to her to a Student Conduct officer at Seneca College. I wasn’t afraid to tell the truth. I said it like it was… “I was drunk & watching cartoons.” A truly dangerous person isn’t a perfectionist. It is someone who messes up, apologizes & knows very well they will mess up again later in similar fashion.

The truly dangerous people just try. Even after a failure.

Quinte West declares baby mama by Starrkeisha their new Anthem

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In an effort to actualize who the people of Quinte West really are Quinte West declares baby mama by Starrkeisha their new Anthem. It will play at the High Schools instead of the National Anthem & before they start all the Sex education classes.

In response to this a Quinte West resident said “Why not just give up? ”

I am Ashton De Roy and the Pandemic has driven me insane.

Study Group with Dad.

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Hey guys,

I said I was going to try more. Meaning I am going to try & be as independent as possible. While also trying not to blame everyone for everything. I tend to lose sense of reality when over stressed & Dad is about to learn why. I am also going to learn something about him…

Dad is reviewing

Dear Dad, I spent the entire time I was homeless in Sensory Overload. I was screamed at, suffocated by a mask and abused by Homeless shelter staff in Kingston Ontario. This is no joke. Covid19 has meant the suspension of Accessibility rights & I was as shocked as maybe you are.

I am reviewing

The Autistic Art Teacher kid of an Engineer is supposed to review a bit of engineering. Before ultimately deciding on a preference for the Arts.

Why bottle blondes are insane?

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I have a brain injury problem that causes Autistic Ticks and Seizures. That is why I have always been crazy. I mean think about the implications of opting for the blonde hair color. Especially with blue eyes…. (I have Jewish friends) Yeah we are nuts!

For more on this crap…. Take a look at Blonde Jokes.

I saw Unhinged with my friend Felix on 2020-10-21. Normally other people on the spectrum don’t take you to see such insane movies! I was surprised at this choice. Given that by the end we were both paralyzed in fear. I don’t know why we did this to ourselves… It is just a movie about a rampaging Straight cisgender inferiority complex!

Remove hypnotic Suggestions from Ashton Deroy in 5 steps.

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Hypnosis plays out with unauthentic personality, confucianism & psychotic delusions. These hypnotic suggestions are traumatizing and should not be broken alone. They include sexual assault, Traumatic Seizure disorder self-diagnosis & scary realizations of DeRoy family manipulations. From 2020- June 8th to October 11th was the length of the last Hypnotic Psychotic episode.

Dictation from 2020-10-12 , “My Parents Randy & Kim tried to start this up for every relationship I ever had in College. I Ashton De Roy always tried to avoid it. This plain & simple is me avoiding the issues. Why am I not entitled to avoid the issues again? The full spell went through this time. At the expense of my physical health & mental sanity.

This starts up and I am like you ******* are doing it again… You are forcing me to dictate my own Autism declaration. I don’t want to do this! I have a birth defect and you guys used separate abstract therapies…. You have to stop! Or write specific instructions. Well my self-declaration is done now. Queer with an intersex psychotic disorder. Hypnotherapy has to be stopped for me… It should be interrupted for others. It is an excuse for not having healthy conversations. The act could be charged as an act of assault! 😡

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Autism Awareness

Seizure Awareness

Brain Injury Awareness

… … … … … … … … … … … …

Ashton De Roy is a De-Colonized Art Teacher & a Wicca of self-guided practice. Ashton De Roy is a Political & Economics theorist. Not a soldier… Not a person with limitless potential. Rather a person when faced with ambition? Develops existential & social hostility. Ashton De Roy is a firm believer in honesty & the idea the world needs idiots to.

” I will not practice unconsenting hypnosis.” , “I will protect my truths but not your own.” & “I will be irredeemably upset if I come to and I break my own hypnotic spell alone.”

How Autistic Special Needs becomes Rage Addiction?

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This is not a normal Autistic Special Needs Mutation. It just happened to me this way. Psychologically though you might be interested in how my autistic personality mutated in to Special Needs Rage addiction? Everyone around me is making Social normalcy arguments 24/7. Meanwhile I am just sitting here… I am not normal… I have a psychotic disorder… I am just trying not to punch my step sibling Matt for making another gay joke! (Matt Clarke is really intelligent. He lacks social skills from a poor family cultural background… This was pointed out to me At Loyalist College in 2020.)

I am just trying to keep Ashley practicing high self-esteem…. You know she is a good sister? Like an extremely good sister. She helped me improve my grammar while she was dropping out of High School. She is smart, she is just burned out from insecure attachment problems.

I am trying to keep Kyle’s weight up. He has an eating disorder… Hello!?!? I took Advertising in College. Which means, I understand working with models many of whom are queer people. Kyle doesn’t like how we put on weight so he isn’t eating properly.

The role I tried to play?
I just tried to get money & skills so that I could help keep my family a float… Meanwhile I kept having panic attacks & mental breakdowns. I have been worried my family was going to kill one of us for quite some time. This started when they moved Ashley to Brighton Ontario in High School? Not so surprisingly she immediately got depressed. That is exactly what happened to me as well.

Growing up in Brighton?

Growing up in Brighton Ontario is actually not that great. You aren’t cultured to the High School so immediately you won’t be allowed in any social cliques because you didn’t go to elementary school with anyone. You are not a farmer! Your parents aren’t rich. If their mission is to take a frog and put it in to a progressively boiling pot of water that is exactly what my parents do with trying to start you your first year of High School at ENSS. Of course Ashley burned out!

I didn’t burn out because they started me off in the moron Locally developed classes. I completed everything quickly and was constantly bored. This is why I got in to smoking pot in High School. There wasn’t really much for me to do.

If you are going to be an English Major I highly recommend getting high. For my Psychotic brain? I had to be intoxicated just to not get up and chuck a book at someone. I was bombed a lot in English class. Mostly on cold medicine. I got sick a lot… I am a Diabetic Carrier with a Paper route! LOL, It bought my coffees.

Anyways, me and my siblings were brought up in a way that creates lunatics. I am a smart lunatic, but I am a lunatic. Going to school I had to learn to improvise for pissing myself consistently. I wish that was a joke… Even at Seneca. I was not aware I had Autistic Seizures… I only knew to monitor for them in 2018 because they warned me.

Why I wanted to die?

Too much pressure. Not enough enjoyment of life. I am Autistic Special Needs. Yet I was convinced from a young age if I didn’t act like I had it all together that everyone was going to put me in to a group home… That is scary stuff!